Sunday, October 12, 2008

EPILEPTIC LOVE

This afternoon I’ve been shown about another greatness of love. My clinic got a call from a lady whom asked me to come and have a home-visit to her place. She wanted me to give a Phenobarbital injection for her epileptic son. She is not young, maybe around 60 to 70 years old. And her son is about 30 something. Could you imagine that? She’s been taking care of her son for almost 30 years. A few months ago I had come to her place also to treat her son. The first time I went there I felt so sorry. And this afternoon my heart has been touched again. Instead I felt sorry for her and her son I felt bad for myself. Why? Because I saw the meaning of loving in that house, in her eyes, and in her son’s eyes. I don’t think I can spend my life just to stay at home and look after a family member when they’re sick. And my mom had done it to my stepfather. Suddenly I miss my mom. And I feel so very guilty. I know I’m too damn selfish. I never treat her right. What I meant is that I don’t think I have given my mom the LOVE. The love that I have seen at my patient’s house. The love that is not thinking about ourselves but thinking about others. I always give her my epileptic love that is not perfect and always have a seizure on it. And the seizure always attacks every time I have to give the love to someone. I realize that I have to learn but I never begin.

Somebody, please! Inject me that pheLOVEbarbital…

1 comment:

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