FAILED I.V.

Today I feel so terrible because, again, I fail on doing an IV line insertion. That’s sucks. I just not so into the IV line. IV line has become some kind of pain in my back since my internship. And today I failed again on an old Korean lady. What made it worse was I failed on both of her hands. I know it’s much more difficult to do an IV on elderly because their veins are more fragile than younger people; and their surrounding tissues are also has much loosen-up. Still those aren’t the things that can make me not doing an IV as a physician. I guess I’m not an IV expertise. That’s sucks. An MD has and should know on how to do an IV. After hours of bad feelings, a bit anger, pretty much sad, and also have a useless feeling; I begin to accept the things that I cannot do. I am a doctor and I am aware of that. What I didn’t know was that it’s ok to have mistakes as long as I know that it’s a mistake and I’m willing to learn so I can give my patient the best treatment for them instead of risking them. My manhood pride has taken me into this you-are-a-loser-when-you-fail kind of feeling. And after what happened today, I realize that I have to be a you-are-a-winner-when-you-admit-your-lacking-ability kinda guy.
Hand me the IV cath, please…