BEFORE CHRISTMAS

Kau temukan aku ketika ku rapuh
Terdampar membisu seperti debu
Matahari seakan tak lagi
Menyinari hati sepi ini

Kau temukan aku ketika aku jatuh
Terhempas membisu terbalut pilu
Matahari seakan tak lagi
Menyinari hati sepi ini

Luka tertinggal dihati
Terlalu dalam untuk pergi

Reff:
Beri aku cinta
Beri aku rasa
Agar aku bisa seperti dirimu

Beri aku sentuhmu
Beri aku rindumu
Agar aku bisa
Seperti hidup kembali

Bridge:
Kau nyalakan cahaya hati
Yang telah mati
Kau terangi gelap dihati
Bangkitkan jiwaku
Dari mimpi burukku

“Seperti Hidup Kembali” by Andra And The Backbone
(Thank You... for made me back alive...)

FRIENDSHIP

This afternoon I read the blog that was written by PNS Sexy. He shared some photos on the blog showing their activities after they had their Sholat Idul Adha. The photos reminded me of some memories that I have had with my friends back then at Junior High. Yes, for me one of the sweetest memories about friendship is my year in Junior High. We did some crazy stuffs, just a typical that junior high kids would do. It was so sweet and really heart-warming. Now, it’s been almost 20 years. But the memories are still there, and I guess it’ll always be there. Covered in a warm blanket of love in the sweetest corner of my mind. I love you guys!
SMP Mardi Yuana Cianjur, Class of 1988…

SIMPLE GOD

Are you a member of the Hard-God Club? Well, I used to be the Brand Manager of the club. I used to think that my God is a very hard God. A God that demands a lot of things from me. A God that sees me as a You-have-to-be-always-right object. A God that is so far away, because He lives in His kingdom of righteousness while I am here stuck in my sinful and full of wrong deeds world. I’ve found them wrong when I am at my age now. I know for sure that I have gained a lot of new understandings on my thirties. Well, the old saying that says “the older, the wiser” is true in my case hehehe…
I have found that my God is a very simple God! All the thoughts and old understanding about Him has totally changed. My God is a kind of God that just sees me as ME. The fat, bald, impatient, a bit forgetful, yet still charming Kees De Roode. All that he sees is just my heart. I always say to Him, “Lord no matter what I am, my heart is in Your hand.” I love my God not because He’s famous, or just because He is the only one whom can allow me to enter His home, but just because He is He. Just that simple. He will always love me no matter what or who I am. He will always love me because He can’t deny Himself. He is the love. There’s no way that from a source of love can flow hatred or evil. He never says, “I don’t know you, you low & sinful thing! You have to be sin-free if you want to walk next to me!” He never demands us to be righteous. All He just asks is, “May I shine from your heart?”
Yes, You may Lord…

HOW TO PUT ASIDE OUR EGOS

I am a temperament person. I will easily get angry if I can’t control or overcome things. Like this morning, a lady came in for her son is sick. I smiled and said hi to her and she only replied with a very flat face so I want to punch her in the face. I mean, what the heck was that? She supposed to smile back at me and said hi. But then I realized (after the beautiful, cute and gorgeous little angel slaps my head in the back. You stupid MD!) that it was my stupid ego talking. And then the cute angels remind me again of some ways to keep my ego in silence and let lose our love instead:
First, try to put others perspective in our mind.
Second, if the ‘negative’ start talking immediately take a deep breath and count to ten.
Third, always remember that not every body can smile.
Fourth, the condition of the heart of every person is different.
Fifth, always start your day with a prayer. It helps a lot!
And sixth, what the heck are you waiting for?
Get going and put those five in practice…

LOVE FACTS

Here are the four thoughts about love that I often forgot:

L. Love Begins With An “L”.
I believe that love always begin with an “L”, LIKING. So I think the correct phrase is suppose to be “Like at first sight”. I also figure that love stands for:
L: Liking
O: On (the)
V: Very
E: Extreme
That means no matter what the situations are, I will and definitely have to always be liking the person that I’m in love with.

O. Love Is A Decision.
I’m 100% agree with this statement. I first heard this saying when I was on a retreat years ago. If you decide to start loving someone then it must be tattooed in your mind that here you’re going to give away your freedom to choose to someone that you believe that he/she is the one for you. So, there’s supposed to be no more divorces!

V. Love Ourselves First.
How can we love others if we don’t know how to love ourselves first? We don’t want them to taste our bitterness; we want them to taste the “love”. So, let’s pour those loves away…

E. Love Is Risky.
Love is risky and complicated. It involves a lot of things. It will include your past, present and future; your family, your privacy, your friends, your best friends, your emotions, your moods, your health, your wealth, your heartaches, your mind, your soul, and most importantly your heart! But don’t be afraid to give your heart away. Go for it and take the risk. It is worth it. You will never know what is in front of you until you take the step. Remember, every beautiful rose has its thorn. So, brave yourself. And if you fall down because of love…
Don’t give up…

I HATE YOU GOD!

Whenever I feel depressed or feel like I don’t know how to get out of my problems, I usually get myself to pray. But before that I usually get mad hehe… and most of my depressed-prayer are using the words on the title of this writing. I hate You! Yes, my prayers has become angry-prayers. On the prayer I will ask Him lotta lotta favors to help me out of the problems. Again, I am a very terrible prayer. At some point I used to curse Him (forgive me Lord!). Please put in your mind that I’m writing this not to showing off that I’m a very brave man so I’m not afraid of my god. It’s a BIG NO!!! All I want to say is that I am so grateful that I have a God that really really knows me very well, way beyond I know myself. He is a very gentle God. He understands. And He hears! No matter what kind of prayer that we are praying to Him. Even if we are angry in our prayers. Even if we are so very angry in our prayers. Because He knows what we are. And after that He will absolutely give us answers and way out.
Don’t be afraid to open our hearts when we are praying. Let Him knows our feelings. Let Him heals them.
Let Him… (This writing was inspired from “Jo the Feminist”)

LUNA MAYA HEART

I think Luna Maya is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in Indonesia today. For me she is a perfect 10. She has perfect look from every angle including from her back. Yes, she got a sexy back too. She is the kind of woman that can attract people from a distance. She has an outburst aura coming out of her, so when she’s around a crowd people can fix their eyes right to her in an instant. It’s her beauty that has made her become a public’s attention. And I believe that she also must have been taken care of her beauty that God has given her.
I think the analogy here is kinda same with our spiritual lives. I think we have to be able to attract people’s attention, of course in a positive way. We must have the Luna Maya’s look in our hearts which is beautiful, flawless, radiant, warm, tender & meek yet firm and unshakeable. But it’s impossible for us to be on that level, why? It’s because we were born with an incomplete and imperfect heart. We humans are inborn flawed heart organisms. To make it UN-flawed or to make it complete & perfect we have to make a call. To whom? To the answer of the lonely hearts. To the king of the broken hearts. To the heart itself.

To the sacred heart…