32

Oh, My God! I'm Old! Noooo!!! Kees! Wake up you fat doctor [slap, slap on the face]. Yes, [sniff, sniff] you are right that’s the number of my age this year, 32. Are you happy now [covering the crying face]? Nooooooo!!! [enough, shut up, get a grip Kees!]
[Cooling down mode, take a deep breath and sigh… hahhhhhhh… whooosaaaaa…]

Ok, let’s do some introspection here:
What have I done? Not much.
What have I given? I don’t remember, I guess a little.
What have I gained? Wait, I know, I know, my weight.
What was the coolest thing that I‘ve ever done?

Hmm, bought an iPod.
What have I loved? Money.
What have I more loved? Money.
What do I love? God?
What do I want for life? Being a super duper rich man.
What do I really want for life? Being a great rich physician.
When will I get married? No comment.
What will I do on my first day as a 32? Kiss my mom.
What is my plan on my age of 32?

Buy a new laptop, buy a Nokia E90, and lose weight.
What is my hope for this year? USA.
And what is my 32 prayer?

Dear God… I thank you…

[Nooooooo!!! I’m 32!!!]

COMING HOME

In a few days all the Moslem people will celebrate Idul Fitri. It is the day of celebration after they have fasted for one whole month. It is the day of being reborn in their whole existence as a human being. It is the day when they will come home and meet the entire family. I personally think that it always been a very pleasure moment when you will have a home-coming moment. There’s a romantic scent in it, also some overwhelming feelings that cover the heart, mind, body and soul. And you will suddenly water your eyes because of it. Watching my nurses packed and left the door for their home trip or we call it “mudik” here, is a very sad, no wait… I think it was more like happy feeling imagining all the trips, the can’t-wait-to-see-my-family kinda feeling, the smell of the home-sweet-home fragrance, and many more.
Well, I guess there’s always a place for home…

SELAMAT HARI RAYA IDUL FITRI
MOHON MAAF LAHIR & BATIN

Maafin Yee!!!...

YOU CAN’T HURRY LOVE

Today God has given me another insight. He said, "You have to receive love, have it and understand it in its fullest in your heart and life, then you can start giving the love unconditionally."
I try to love someone and of course I really really want that person to love me back, but after some times I feel that I have never received the same love from that person. And this morning I have understood the reason. That person has never tasted love before and in order to return the love that person must know first the taste of being loved completely. So, after the person's hunger of love has been fully satisfied then that person can start giving others the beautiful love that the person has tasted. Hmmm, then it’s gonna take some times right? Exactly, like 'The Supremes' & 'Phil Collins' said,

You Can't Hurry Love!...

SOMETIMES

Sometimes we push the things that we think it’s the right one for the people that we love. We forgot that sometimes the best way is to give them what they really want. Yes, it’s very hard and sometimes also heartbreaking, but I think we have to remember that when we push what we’re really wanted, it means that we’re being selfish. Because we don’t want to lose them. Because we want it that way. Because we want our hearts feel secured. And not being left which make us into loneliness. Yes, we gave them our hearts, attentions, cares, affections, and love but sometimes we give them not in the right way. We give them with pressure. We give them with hope, the hope for ourselves of being treated in the same manners. Sometimes we said that we’re focused our attentions to them but the truth is we’re not. We’re thinking of something else. We said that we love them and want to hold them forever but the truth is we’re holding them too tight so it might choke them and made them barely breath. Do we love just to be loved? Do we care just to be cared? Do we help just to be helped? Sometimes heart is so difficult to be understood. Sometimes heart needs some times to heal. Sometimes heart needs its own times. Sometimes heart needs love in a very little portion, an uplifting portion. Sometimes we just need to hear the heart.

And sometimes we just have to let our hearts hurt…

ANGERLOVE MANAGEMENT

Yesterday I had a chat with my friend. From that conversation I found out that how easy people to forget about almost everything especially when they’re on an angry situation. We were discussed about how love can make us hurt. I told him that he has to seek the root, the cause; the ‘main thing’ that has drove him crazy or hurt. What I’m saying is if you don’t know what thing that really have made you upset then you cannot get out of the problem in an instance. We have to stop, seek inside us, think, and then us off to go. After I told him almost about everything a moment later he started to complaint again on the same subject. Gosh, he drove me crazy. I felt like I wanted to yell at him and say: “what is wrong with you dude?” but of course I didn’t do that hehe… I was too scared to hurt his feeling. Another lesson that I have learned was that anger or any negative emotions always stop you to think rationally. And I guess that’s what my friend just had. So what did I do? I just sat there and listened. After some times, he began to soften-out (yeah, and my ear has harden-out). And then he gradually started to saw the problem. Finally, he said: “Yeah man, I think I have to let go”. I was glad that he can solve his own problem. Did I help? Not much hehe… Well, it’s always true about old-sayings. “Always think with a clear head”.

Sssshhh, I am hearing me…

JIM

Jim is my brother. He is stubborn like my dad but also fun like my mom. He loves mom very much. He loves black. Because it’s the color of a man he said. He has an S-2 degree and he’s reaching his goals to be the most successful entrepreneur in Indonesia right now. He has a very beautiful wife and a beautiful daughter on his side, and he’s planning on having a new baby. He is so hairy, he left hairs everywhere. So, it’s an easy job to track him down. He lives in Depok and waiting his house to be done. He’s a family man. He has a leader-quality of heart. He’s firm in every single decision he made. He loves sexy girls and Pamela Anderson. He’s a cool J-Rock band vocalist. He cares to people. He has a very sensitive heart. He is a melancholy guy. He is my brother, and I love him. His name is Jim.

Hepi 29th bersdey (09-01-08) brow…