OH, MAN!

The economy today is like hell. I’ve almost cleaned up my savings because of that. The US Dollar hit Rp.12.500 today. Damn.

It sucks…..
Aaaaarrrrrggghhhhh!!!!! :-(

(I don't feel like writing now...)

WHY DO WE HAVE TO SING WHOLEHEARTEDLY

I was listening to “With or Without You” not the one by U2 but the one that was covered by Glay, one of the best J-Rock Band from Japan. I was so into that song, I always love that song. I think the melody, the arrangement, and everything about the song is so perfect. And Glay has done a very great cover of the song. When I sang along with Glay suddenly I felt so empowered, so lonely, and yet so intimate, and also I felt a bit moved inside my heart. My heart was touched. And that song is not a gospel song. I used to be a worship leader in my catholic community when I was in college. And it always had been a very great and beautiful moment to see people and everybody in the room sing along together, praising and worshiping God. And when I sang with Glay, the feeling came back. I used to think that the togetherness, the music, and the situations are the things that we always have to prepare perfectly if we want to FEEL a great and intimate worship moment. But it turns out not to be like that. We can be moved, empowered, spirited away, and feel all the great things of worshipping if we’re doing it WHOLEHEARTEDLY. At that moment we’re releasing and transferring the beautiful energy to everything and everyone that surrounds us. Yes, the things that I’ve said earlier like the music, etc are also very important. BUT now I know what the MOST important thing is if I want to worship Him. My heart…
I can’t live with or without you…

NOVEMBER LOVE

Nov/8/2008 08:00AM
Fear
I
You
This morning,
You gave me life
You lighted up my life
You made me alive
You brought me joy
You turned my happiness on
You set my heart on fire
You made me fall in love again
But this morning, it was deeper...
I will love You
I will hold You
I will always be there for You
You've just made my life surreal
And this morning, it was real...
This morning was love...
Tonight is love...
You
I
Love...
Nov/8/2008 07:54PM+A

THAT NIGHT WAS...

Yesterday my faith has been renewed. For the last couple of years my heart has become numbed. I've become a very tolerant person. I've tolerated to everything that the world has offered me. Including the part that I should've been said no. And yesterday He has pulled me back into the track. Have you ever been in that kind of situation? The situation where you think you're right and then the wise guy comes to you and suddenly everything seems so very wrong. And I was in that situation yesterday. How did I feel? I felt bad, not good, and awkward. I felt so very sin, but finally felt so relieve. It was all started when a text message came in and in a split second everything's changed. That night, He has put me... wait, I mean, I HAVE PUT MYSELF in a situation where I didn't know where to go, didn't know what was I suppose to do, and didn't know to whom should I tell or share my problem with. Yes, it was all because of my own mistake. I've slipped. And that night, it was the night when I prayed so deep, intimate, and felt each and every word that came out of my mouth again. I have forgotten on how to pray so deep and intimate. And that night, each and every word of the prayer has becoming so real. The prayer seemed has become the lightning that struck me in the heart each time I said the word of the prayer. I was shocked. Shocked of recognizing all the bad things and deeds that I've said and done. It was like a movie in my mind. I also felt so afraid that night. Afraid of being caught up. Afraid of humiliating my family. Afraid of the becoming of my future. Afraid of what would people think of me. He pulled me hard this time. So hard. I was strayed too far. And I slipped, big time. I was falling off the cliff. That night, I was hanging to His outstretched arm only. So He had to pull me in the hard way. And I was saved again. I can't remember how many times in my life that He has saved me. It's countless! Maybe what you read here is a very cliché story. But for me, it was life saving. And I hope the 'that night' experience can also change the way you relate to Him.
Dear God, I thank You for saving me from my most dangerous mistake. Please forgive me for all the disappointments that I have put in the heart of every person that I have hurt. I myself is also hurt Lord. Thank you for healing me. Thank you for saving me from that horrific night. Amen.
That night was... frightening. And tonight, it's... raining.

Thank You...